Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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