You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
