I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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