My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
