yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
