Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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