You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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