also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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