I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
