I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
