Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
