similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize