i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
