...so i touched it.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
