i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
