Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
