Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
