u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
