No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
