I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
