hotel room ftw
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
