"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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