We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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