BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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