Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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