i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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