Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
