his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
