i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
