i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Its about making memories worth repressing
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
