just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize