I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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