mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think i got beer on your cat.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
