Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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