i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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