you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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