I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
When did angry sex become our thing?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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