Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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