He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
