Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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