I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
