So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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