nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she smelled like a LAN party
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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