He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
