I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
