Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think my moral compass just broke
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
