I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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