I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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