the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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