VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Less talking, more tequila
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
