Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
