I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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