well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
