Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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