I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
