If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
