dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
