It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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