I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
