Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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