so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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