Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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